Finding Purpose

His Masterpiece

2010-01-14T01:50:00.000-08:00

So while I was listening to Joel Osteens weekly podcast I had a real "a ha" moment. He said in his podcast that people will see me the way I see myself. So if I see myself as less than others, then other will in turn see me as less than them.
I have to drill it into my head that I was created in the image of HIM, so therefore I am flawless; It's time I start acting as if I am. I need to walk with my head held high acknowledging the fact that I am special, creative, talented, beautiful and -as Joel would put it- "A child of the most high God".
Everything God creates is a masterpiece, so when He created me He created a masterpiece. So if I get up every morning with something negative to say about myself it is like I am insulting His work. He knew what he was doing when He created me, He knew exactly what He was doing.
So from now on I am going to push all the negative thoughts of myself out of the way, I am going to raise my confidence, and think of all the things that I do great in stead of all the things that I don't do so great. I am going to walk with poise, grace and confidence because I know that I am a masterpiece; I am His masterpiece.

A Dusty Star

2010-01-09T22:43:00.000-08:00

This isn't fair! Do I have to do this!? I dont want to do that! Okay, so just incase you didn't recognize these phrases they are sayings that I see as complaints. Something that I find myself doing A LOT. But this is also something that I want to pray about for improvement this year. The funny thing about me is that when ever I complain I always feel stupid about it afterward. I mean I have a roof over my head, food in my refrigerator, clothes in my closet and parents who love and take care of me, YET, I still find something to complain about. I feel that as a growing christian woman this is something that has to stop. I'm not helping anything when I do it, and I'm definitely not helping myself.
Philipians 2:14-15 says "Do everything without complaining or arguing. So that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the Universe."
How can I expect to be a shining star of the universe if I am constantly complaining about materialistic things. Besides the fact that God does a wonderful job at taking care of me, He sent His Son to die for me! Someone died for me and I am still complaining about how I don't want to wash the last dish in the sink.
If I am going to win someone over this year, I am definitely going to need a reality check. Because this complaining has got to stop ASAP. If Jesus willingly gave his life for me without one complaint, I can manage to wash one dish without complaining.
I feel that the dust that I have yet to brush off is keeping my star from shining to it's full effect. I should probably get to cleaning.

Only one way to win

2010-01-08T22:49:00.000-08:00

Often I find myself becoming depressed and worried when I see a fight arising that I know that I will not be able to handle.These fights that I speak of aren't necessarily physical fights but just battles that I see arising when it comes to certain areas in my life, like classes or work. I guess one of my weaknesses is that I don't really see myself as a very "strong" person (but that's something that I know I need to pray about), so when a conflict springs up I tend to dig holes to find my way out. I will try to avoid a mountain at all cost, I will take on anything but a fight.
But as I study His Word I am finding that it is not my job to fight against what ever conflict is present in my life.
Exodus 14:14 says "The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." This scripture appears before God supernaturally parted the red sea for Moses and the Israelites to cross, while drowning the Egyptian army that tried to chase after them.
I feel that as long as I stay faithful to Him, the only armor that I will need is the full armor of God. I want to get it out of my head that whenever a problem arises I will have to find a way to fight it on my own. Because now I know that God will take care of every little problem that I feel that I have in my life. And if it is not through some supernatural way, He will instill in me courage and strength to get through this battle. Character traits that I know can only come from Him.
So it's time for me to stop worrying, pulling hairs, bitting nails and drawing out battle plans to map out which angle I am going to ambush my enemy. But what I am going to do, is turn off my TV, unplug the radio and pray to God that He will bring me through another battle like He has done so many times before.

Written by God

2010-01-07T13:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I was out with a friend I bought a book titled 'When God writes your love story', written by a couple who actually allowed God to write their love story. I haven't finished the story yet, but with every page that I turn I am learning so much. I'm learning that it's more than just letting God write just your love story but it's all about giving Him full control so that he can write your LIFE story as well.
Sometimes I feel that it is just so much easier to write my own story. I mean it just seems so much more convenient. But I'm learning that I need to get that thought out of my head. Although it may seem "easier" to write my own story, I can bet that the story that I try to write can't even compare to the story that God has in mind. If only I could just give Him the pen.
So that is exactly what I am choosing to do. I am going to give God the pen, the paper, the desk, the desk lamp and I'll even pass Him the dictionary if He asks for it. My little input can't compare to what He has in mind, so I might as well just give it up now.
When I get a head of myself, I start to plan all the different things that I want to do with my life. In 2 years I want to be here, in 5 years I want to be there, and in 10 years I want to be doing this. But then I stop and I realize that I have taken my pen back from God and I have began to write my own story again.
Jeremiah 29:11 states that " For I Know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". God already knows how my life is going to play out, He already has a plan! But yet I still find the need to take control of my own story.
When I think of the different reasons of why I seemed so reluctant to hand the pen over to God in the first place, fear seems to come to mind. I'm afraid to give God complete control because I don't know What His intentions are, I don't know if me and God are on the same page. Then I ask myself 'What if Gods plan isn't the plan that I want?' But in truth His plan is better than any plan I could ever dream of. I'm finally learning to accept that now.
So I'm going to let God write my story, Im not going to try and proof read it to give Him my 'okay', but instead I'm going to let it happen. Because I know God has got my back.
I want my life to be a beautiful story written by God.

The Challenge

2010-01-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

So I have been thinking a lot, and I've been trying to think of different ways to get closer to God. So I feel that in order for me to find ways to get closer to God I have to acknowledge what is actually keeping me from getting closer to Him. Well I can personally say TV hands down. There can honestly be nothing interesting to watch and I still will have the urge to lay in my bed for hours and flick through the channels when I could be reading my Bible. So I'm taking on the challenge to try and cut out all the things that keep me away from building a stronger relationship with God.
I don't know how long I will choose to take on this challenge, probably until a better connection has been felt. Probably until I feel I am closer to him, probably until I find what it is that God actually wants me to do.
But that's just a personal challenge that I have chosen to take on. The real challenge is to help someone recieve Christ this year. I have a few people in mind, but I'm not sure how things will play out. I'll just have to really pray about it. I guess the reason that I haven't helped anyone before was because it just felt so akward bringing up His name in front of people who didn't really know who He was, or in front of people who don't really care who He is. But I have to change my mind set. I can't be afraid to bring up His name. Not anymore. I'm going to get someone this year.

Ok I admit it;You're better than me.

2010-01-03T23:36:00.000-08:00

The bible says to think of others as better than yourself. When I read that I really had a "wow" moment. How often are we taught to think of others as better than ourselves. We all are given our special talents and we do often acknowledge that there will always be someone better at it than us, but how often do we 'accept' it.
I feel that as the human race we create a habit of becoming angry when someone speaks out on how much better they are than you at something. Instead, I now realize that we should show the exact opposite emotion. We should smile and say "yes, you are better at that than me. Do you have any tips on how I can get up to your level."
Now I know from personal experience that this is way easier to think about saying than to actually say. But I feel that once I have this thought sitting in my head for a while, I won't be to 'proud' to say it.
If I walk around with my head held high, with the attitude that I am 'perfect' at everything that I do, then God may see no room to make improvements in me. Like I said before I really need to humble myself before people. I feel that no other character trait can top humility.
When I look at what is considered humble, I see it as something that should be sooo easy to master. But when the time comes it seems sooo hard to actually pull through. I guess thats where pride comes in. But I can overcome that, pride is just a word that we have taken a pump to and blown up with air. With much prayer I know that I can pop it. Humility is more than just a word. It is the source to many of my blessings.

2010

2010-01-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

Well it's the New Year, and I am so excited about it. If you take a very good look with a positive attitude this could be the year with many great possibilities. But these great possibilities can only be seen if you have a [positive] attitude. Lets cut negativity out for 2010. We have the potential to make this year a great one,but if we have negative attitudes from start to finish the year will be everything BUT great. It's all in how you see things in your mind.
I am going to make this year a great year. That is my true new years resolution. I want to focus more on God and less on petty things. I want our relationship to be stronger, solid, unbreakable.
Yup, This year will be a great year. I've already declared it. I want to keep a positive attitude all the way through.

Flaws and all

2009-12-31T21:47:00.000-08:00

I'm taking on a new mission for this knew up coming year. I want to have a free mouth, a mouth that is free from judging others and talking of others flaws. Instead, I want to focus on my own. I want to find ways to improve them, I don't want to look at other people sins, I just want to focus on the ones that I continue to commit. Sometimes I find that we as humans focus to much on what other people are doing, and how they are doing it. But I don't want to waist my time doing that any more.

I'm gonna focus on my flaws and only my flaws. I figure if I do this I will have a better chance of correcting them. I think this is a good start at mastering humility.

A new light

2009-12-29T17:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm taking on a new light. I'm really trying to walk down a straight and narrow path but I find myself getting a little lost with every step that I take.

But I guess that is what's to be expected. For anyone who has ever attempted mastering perfection you can agree it is EXTREMELY hard to be perfect. But I know that with everything that comes harder than most you just have to put in a little more effort. Sometimes it feels practically impossible to live the way that my Savior did, but the whole goal of a Christian is to be "Christ Like." That means -even if it takes all my might- I must try to humble myself as He did.

Humility, Such an easy word to say, but from my experience it seems so much harder to show. Pride is a very big word in our world. Something that seems very hard to let go. And if we did find a way to drop pride people would look at us as if we were weak. And for some reason no one wants to be looked at as weak. I guess you can say it's a pride thing.I hope to lose that someday, it can be poison at times.

A great life

2009-03-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

so I started blogging again. Yay!!! I kind of missed it. But in the time period that I haven't been writing I found that I have gone through so much. Not too much, but I've hit some walls. My roommate was probably the first and biggest incident of the new semester so far, but I don't really want to talk about that. Im trying to get over it and have fun in life. The main point about this story is that she has a boyfriend. And ever since she started dating him, I found myself longing for a guy to be with even more now. I don't want to seem like this desperate boy crazed gal, but I think its just in my feminine genes. Wanting to be loved. Every girl wants happiness. I made up my mind my senior year that I wouldn't "date" until I was ready to get married and in techinical terms its not "dating" its courting. I don't want to waste my time with people who I won't spend the rest of my life with, and I don't want to waste my time with people who don't serve my lord and savior.

I'm not a perfect christian in anyway, I make mistakes everyday, but i'm trying my hardest to change. My goal is to get to heaven. I want to be in the kingdom, and I'm afraid that I have a lot of work to do. starting tonight I need to find time to spend with God everyday. I need to grow closer with Him. I need to look not only at my religion but I need to find a relationship with him. I can't find myself starting a relationship with any guy until I can say that I have a relationship with Him.

I know this idea of courting may seem weird to other people, but I actually love it! It's one less thing that I have to worry about while I'm in college. Relationships at my age hardly ever workout. I know that if I get on track and become consistently faithful to God, he will have someone waiting in the wings for me. Someone special, someone that I can talk to as if he were my best friend. Someone fun and loving, someone caring and romantic and most importantly someone who loves and fears God. Someone who will help me grow even more as a christian. But maybe I need to just help myself to grow, before I can start recieving His blessings.

Thats all,
Good night.

$ 4.00 left

2008-10-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

I have $4.00 left on my dining dollars. oops! (lol). Hey at least I don't have to worry about wasting any of it. But I think I'm going to make these last four dollars last a while. I won't be tempted to grab snacks and drinks because I know these things are not healthy for me anyway. so this four dollars will last me until december 15, that's right I said it, its october 29th now and I am going to make these dollars last till december 15!, my dining dollars are technically dollars that I use for junk anyways so in a way I'm helping myself, I'll probably buy jamba juice that day or something. So I'm going to make it last.

A lesson learned

2008-10-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

"You did then what you knew; now that you know better you'll do better" - Maya AngelouHere's

Here's a thought: If you want to prevent the number of mistakes you make in a life time; Watch someone elses! I guarantee there will be some actions that you will not want to mimick. If you take the time to listen to other stories you'll know what to expect and what not to expect. I know we all get those urges to try something new, to try something different (regardless of all the negative things you hear about it).I feel that in order to make character improvements you must make some mistakes and fall a couple a times, but if you can learn from others you can surely save yourself the regret later on. Because waking up and not remebering anything that you did the night before is only funny to the people who KNOW what happened that night.So the point that I make here is just to sit back relax and WATCH, because then you will smile and think to yourself "ok, I know not to do that."

The worrying stops now!

2008-10-28T10:05:00.001-07:00

This day will be a dull day. I took my math test that I am so worried that I didn't pass. Although some may look at the word worrying as not that big of a deal, it is to me a habit that I can't seem to get rid of. Second guessing myself is something that I find that I hate with a passion. I want to be able to do something and have the faith that I did it well the FIRST time. I want to stop stressing over what I should have, could have and would have done. I Want to be free of worry and free of stress.As of now I will stop worrying about everything and start thanking God for everything. Today I have to work, before I was complaining because I didn't really want to work today, I just wanted to go to class, go to my room and jump in my bed and think about the possible bad grade I might have recieved on my math test. But now I will go to class, go to work- and work my but off (If I am in the position that I have to) I will be the best employee, because I want people to see Gods light through me. After work I will go back to my room review for wednesdays in-class essay, read and relax. when wednesday comes I will go to my math class and take in any grade that I recieved, because God has blessed me with a class where If I fail I have the chance to take it again, so I shouldn't worry because I know a second chance will be given to me to do better.